Things you may or may not know about me.

I suck at spelling! Now most of you reading this might think, “well I am not very good either”, let me tell you I am worse than that. Without spell check in word I would probably be living in poverty somewhere in a field. Jiraffe or Giraffe? Yes that is how I spelled it while playing Scattergories. If you have ever played with me I take GREAT care to cover up my answers as to not give away the misspellings.

Assault and Battery – I was 15 years of age and went to a Roy High School football game. Logan High lost and well I really lost too. After the game I was headed out to the car, where I was confronted by a really angry high school bully. After trying to talk my way out of it, he ended up punching me in the left eye. Which resulted in an orbital blowout fracture, which means the eye socket was crushed. I had a torn retina and my nose was broken in 4 places. Needless to say I spent one month out of school and the guy was arrested and charged with Assault and Battery. From this I learned that assault is the threat of physical violence and battery is the act of physical violence. I always thought it was the other way around. After several surgeries I still have some pain and when the weather changes the metal plate in my eye, expands and contracts.

Hot Dog Water – yeah, not just a song by Limp Biscuit. My family dared me to drink the left over hot dog water. And well I DO NOT recommend this to anyone. At the time we were really into Fear Factor so I thought, “ yeah I can turn off the taste buds and down this”, not the case. I got two swallows down and it came violently back up. Spencer cried.

Swimming – In 1991 I took state in the 200 freestyle relay and set a state record. Everyone used to know this about me but since I have gotten older and fatter I guess people just don’t see it. Our team took 2nd place in state overall. We would have taken first but … bla bla bla … Also, I graduated as the highest ranked “Quest”, male swimmer, rank of, “Man”, that comes after 5 Star General. So yeah it was a big deal. Ask me about it sometime.

Paper Route – I was nine years old and my local idol, Mike Growl, was our family paperboy. Mike was so cool. I would follow him around and help him deliver newspapers. He would let me bug him and ask questions and just puppy dog around him. He was very nice to me. I wanted to be a paperboy so bad. Well Mike, I think turned 16, so he found another job. To my surprise he gave the route to some random stranger. This person did not like me or and did not like me hanging around. Well long story short, after a few short months the stranger was sick of it and gave the route up to me. I was exactly one month shy of my 10th birthday. I remember the announcement to my family at dinner. I told my parents I was the new paperboy starting Nov. 28th, see I had not really asked them if that was ok. And well my dad FREAKED out. I think he was really worried that I would fail and he would end up with the paper route. Well, 6 years and one hernia later I gave the route to my sister.

My Middle Name – is Fredrick, I am named after my father who is *** Fredrick ****, who is named after his father, so on and so forth I think for 4 or 5 generations.